Dear Home,
It’s nice to see you.
You’ve been a slippery thing. Like a quick twitched running back, you’ve at times eluded my attempts to hunt you down. For my whole upbringing, I found you in the dry hills of San Antonio, then in college, in the honored halls and traditions of Texas A&M College Station, and in the last 10 years, I’ve found you in the culture and humidity soaked streets of Houston. But, like Elsa in Frozen 2, I’ve been hearing a voice from across the water, beckoning me to wonder “what’s over there” that set our family on a journey of discovering you.
Over the last decade, you, Home, were clear as day. As a bright eyed, equal parts clueless and cocky recent graduate, Houston welcomed me with warm (scolding hot) and open arms. There may not be another city in the country that dances the dichotomous line between old world and new world like Houston does. Built and shaped by the resounding gusto of industrious wildcatters, the boundless dreams of moxie laden developers, and the unmatched drive of countless immigrants who saw that concrete packed swamp as the opportune place to realize the American dream, Houston is in a league of its own. For my first job, I was given a phone and a computer and told to dial, and boy did I dial. In that job, I walked into bullpen trench warfare where casualties were taken daily in the form of my pride squashed and mistake count rising (see: cease and desist letters received due to not taking no on a phone call as an answer). Thankfully, that job served as a launching pad into a career in real estate investment and development that as my friend John Marsh would say, “makes my heart hum like a tuning fork.” But, the career is not what made me find you, Home, in Houston. It was, you guessed it, the people.
I found Home in Houston because I had the three sorts of friends that I believe you must have for Home to be found:
The Third Base Coach
For nearly the full 10 years of my time in Houston, I was the passionate coach of the American Raccoons, a scrappy bunch of great American men and women who pieced together a co-ed softball team the likes of which Houston Sports & Social Club will never see again.
The Third Base Coach’s job is to guide the baserunner who is sprinting towards third base and whose back is towards the defense to either stay at 3rd base or run to home plate, all based on where the ball is on the field and among the defense. Our best Third Base Coach would be the guy or gal or knew the runners’ abilities intimately. This Coach has to know the speed and energy with which the baserunner is running and coach him or her strategically in a high pressure situation. Having a Third Base Coach is having a friend who knows you. Really knows you. Who isn’t scared to see you on your path and emphatically wave you onwards, or to plant his feet and with conviction and bring you to a halt. In other words, you must have foxhole buddies who know you, inspire you, and hold you accountable.
The Catcher
Let’s say there’s a runner on 1st base and a line drive is hit to deep left-center field. The runner on 1st takes off in hopes of reaching 3rd base, maybe even home. Here’s likely what will happen: the center fielder runs to the wall to get the ball while the short stop runs to shallow center field to play the cutoff man. The cutoff man has his back to where the baserunners are, so he relies on guidance from his team. The Catcher is in the optimal spot to see the whole field and yell directions to the cutoff man for where he should throw the ball when he receives it from the center fielder. When your perspective is unrefined or maybe even blinded, you have to have someone who can see the whole field and guide you with wisdom. In other words, you must have mentorship / discipleship.
The Pinch Hitter
It’s the bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, two outs. Your team is hitting but is at the bottom of the lineup. Your Pitcher is up to bat. Less than ideal. Traditionally, Pitchers aren’t the best hitters. So, a Pinch Hitter can be called up from the bench, totally cold, having not played a single minute in the game, and expected to step up and get a hit with the entire game riding on his shoulders. The Pinch Hitter is one of the infinite reasons why baseball is the most beautiful game. It’s poetry in motion. Sometimes, it’s the ultimate underdog, the Pinch Hitter, who is walking to the plate in the biggest moment of the game. In that moment, you have the opportunity to sit back and root for the Cinderella story to unfold. Finding a Pinch Hitter in your life that you can pat on the back as he walks up the steps of the dugout to the biggest moment of his career is mission critical to your being shaped as a leader and teammate. In other words: you must have mentees or those who you disciple.
From old friends to new friends, from the golf course to the church atrium, from the cocktail bars to the gyms, I was indescribably lucky enough to find all three of these sorts of friends in Houston. Build a Tribe with these friends and sign treaties and Home is found.
But, this call, this Field of Dreams like voice, I just couldn’t shake it. It was beckoning me to wonder “what’s next?” and it had to be chased down. Allow me to introduce you to the process that was the jet fuel to our decision making trajectory.
At the start of 2023, Sarah Beth, my wife, and I decided that it was time to figure out what this voice from across the water was leading us towards. So, we dug into an intentional process of deciphering the will of God. This process was largely guided by the “Sacred Pace” that our friend and Sacred Pace sherpa, Terry Looper, lead me through. The process has four steps:
Consult your friend Jesus (Pray… a lot…)
Gather the facts (Be strategic)
Watch for circumstances (Tune in to how God is using circumstances to communicate)
Get neutral (Be as excited with one direction as you are with another)
Life can sometimes look like an EKG chart. Tragedy, healing, victory, defeat, big moments are caught in between smoother chapters. God is good in this way - giving us only what He knows we can handle.
One of the reasons why life may “spike” is that you’re at a crossroads and a big decision is required. Should I marry that girl? Should I start that company? Should I make that move? In these chapters of decision making, the Sacred Pace can be a map that navigates you through the choppy waters.
A few practical things that we did that were enormously helpful while we deployed the 4 steps of the Sacred Pace:
Sarah Beth and I committed to praying together *most* mornings as we consulted our friend Jesus together. This availed space for fears to be shared, light bulb moments to be exchanged, and an all hands in approach to the process to be espoused. Get a partner and consult your friend Jesus together regarding your decision.
A circumstance can be anything - a conversation over coffee, a line from a movie, a podcast episode. Keep your mind open and ears to the ground for how God is using everyday moments to speak, then write these moments down. SB and I created a shared note entitled “Circumstances” that we added to over the course of about 5 months. This gives you an Ebenezer to look back on, to be guided by, and be grateful for.
The last step, getting neutral, is arguably the most difficult step. Discipline is required to be ready for anything and to leave bias at the door. Maintain neutrality by bringing consistent accountability (great 3rd base coaches) into your process that can help to ensure that the decision is made from a place of neutrality and not partiality. Ask them to hold you up on the bases when selfish or comfortable desires come into frame and to wave you on when you are in a posture of readiness to obey the good plan that God has for you.
After a nearly 6 month journey with the cadence of the Sacred Pace, that voice from across the water was resoundingly drawing us back home to San Antonio.
Sarah Beth and I are both from San Antonio. It’s the place where our stories as individuals and as a couple (she was the captain of the cheerleading squad and I was in love with said captain) has its genesis. It’s where my grandfather, Koli Kodakoli Amini, the youngest of 20 children who left Iran for America as a teenager, planted his flag that was decidedly red white and blue as opposed to the Iranian red white and green to grow his family and his American dream. It’s where Sarah Beth’s grandfather and granduncle were stationed in some of the many San Antonio area military bases. It’s where our heritage is found and where we desire our legacy to be. It’s the city where our dreams are inextricably linked and the city where our kids will be loved by a committed tribe of family members. Like Simba’s path shows us and as a member of his baseball team, Rafiki, helps him to remember in this clip, sometimes you have to go back to go forward.
So how have you, Home, taught us to leave it all out there on the field?
Invest in your “baseball team” - 3rd Base Coaches, Catchers, and Pinch Hitters - with an intensity that stems from unmovable treaties. If you’re at war, I’m at war type of friendship. This is what builds Home.
Should there be a voice from across the water beckoning you to wonder “what’s over there”, engage in a deep process of discovery to determine what’s next. Then, jump and build.
So, Home, though you made us work for it, we have unquestionably found you in our hometown of San Antonio. In the hopeful hills of San Antonio lies the city of the future and the city of our past. It is where we find our deep pride and big ideas. It is where we see our baseball team. It is where we want to build, dream, and create. It’s where we’ve found Home.
Dear Home, it’s nice to see you.
-JA
Hopefully, the kids will go to TMI. Wish I was still there. Thanks for the story.